You Can Go Your Own Way

Sweet Jesus, the lover of my soul, sometimes wakes me with quiet morning whispers. Today it was, “Do you know how I give such perfect gifts?” The best teachers know how to ask a question that prompts our brain to savor, think, and then be ready for the answer.

The day after Christmas a friend’s family dog passed away. He had aged, grown grey and inherited the customary health issues. They had been loving him, enjoying every minute that remained with him, and made sure to provide as much comfort as they could for their faithful companion as he came to the end of his measured time here. Upon hearing the news via text message that he had passed, James 1:17 instantly came to mind, “Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.” Yes, I was reminded, pets ARE sweet gifts from the Father of the heavenly lights. The Creator of all things who gently pokes at our hearts when certain creatures cross our path and says, “that one is for you.”  For the record, I’ve probably been guilty of bringing a few home that I wasn’t directly prompted were for me, too, and in the process, chosen some hard lessons.

When verses come to mind like this, I like to look them up and read them in context to see what more the Lord might want to say to me about that verse. And did you know the Bible talks about bringing home critters that weren’t specifically for you? I didn’t either! But look what I found in the verses just before verse 17 in James 1!

¹² God blesses those who patiently endure testing and temptation. Afterward they will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him. ¹³ And remember, when you are being tempted, do not say, “God is tempting me.” God is never tempted to do wrong, and he never tempts anyone else. ¹⁴ Temptation comes from our own desires, which entice us and drag us away. ¹⁵ These desires give birth to sinful actions. And when sin is allowed to grow, it gives birth to death.

Yup. Once upon a time a woman (who shall remain nameless) thought she could do it all and that God had called her to that. Why would she ever say no? When friends told her about a dog that needed to be rescued and rehomed due to its improper living conditions she thought, “Oh, yeah. I can totally do that.” Enter psycho dog. Lord have mercy (how many times have I begged for that after landing in a mess?! Er… I wonder how many times SHE begged for that… ). 

Now, I’m well versed in the “product of an environment” theory and I understand different breeds and their different needs, both for dogs and horses. I also understand that some breed personalities are better suited for certain people. Now, more than EVER I understand this. In fact, going into this, I’d already ascertained that part of this dog’s problem was that it needed more space than could be offered to it in town and that she needed a job, she is a “working dog” breed. I logically analyzed that since I was then living on 3 acres and had some livestock there was potential that I could do this for her until she could be connected with a forever home as I didn’t need any more animals. And to a degree, I did just that, but y’all, this dog was nuts and caused me more heartache than I even care to recall, but for the sake of never making this mistake again (I mean, life is short, pick a different one to try each day) I’ll tell you a little about it. 

First of all, I don’t think anyone had ever worked with her or taught her anything, she’d been left to her own devices, and for this intelligent, “working breed,” this is a nightmare. So, I started socializing her, acclimating her to the other animals around our place. Even on a leash she would try to chase the cats, whining, flinching, spinning in circles, nearly taking both of us out in the process. When left outside, she would watch them through the sliding glass doors and do the same behavior, working herself into an absolute tizzy and straight up terrifying the cats.

Around the horses she would try to herd, nipping at their heals, swinging from their tails, and would NOT be called off. Horses have a way of teaching others about their space, and though ours are gentle, and entirely too patient, eventually, they did give her a little pop, but she didn’t even slow down! A couple of days later, she got a much harder kick. She yelped and crawled back over to me where I had an “I told you so” discussion with her, but by that night at feeding time, she was right back to it. So, I had to start keeping her on a long line and training during that time, too. So, instead of just enjoying the peaceful evening routine of feeding and savoring time with the horses, I was harnessed to 40 pounds of spastic energy that was about to make me lose my mind. 

And then there were the neighbor dogs. All of this insanity and disruption of peace wasn’t enough. Oh, no. Next, she came into heat. And the neighbor dogs were breaking through our fence to get to her. I CAN'T MAKE THIS STUFF UP! Seriously, the LAST thing I needed right now was more psycho dogs!!!

But yes, she is an intelligent, working breed. Interestingly enough, probably a pretty solid description of the woman who tried to rescue that dog, who logically analyzed and came up with the idea all on her own that she should take this on. And here was the perfect opportunity to present for this woman’s consideration how reasoning for herself versus asking for God’s plan could lead to strife instead of peace. 

Had God tempted me? No, according to James 1:13-14 I got here all on my own through my misplaced desire to help others, to be needed. And now, the circus my life had turned into was pretty close to creating some verse 15 response; “sinful actions.” What I really wanted at this point was a remote that could turn back time, and save me from the physical, emotional, and financial cost of this choice. But instead, I got a life lesson. While God doesn’t tempt us, he wastes nothing, including the teachable moments from my poor choices.

In contrast to the insanity we inflict upon ourselves, James says, “¹⁶ So don’t be misled, my dear brothers and sisters. ¹⁷ Whatever is good and perfect is a gift coming down to us from God our Father, who created all the lights in the heavens. He never changes or casts a shifting shadow. ¹⁸ He chose to give birth to us by giving us his true word. And we, out of all creation, became his prized possession.”

No, Lord, clearly I have demonstrated my lack of understandings, and that I have no idea how you would know how to give perfect gifts. But as I smiled this morning and listened for his voice I also thought, “But I’d love to hear!”

It’s because I know you, really KNOW you. The best gifts come when an individual can actually see what is valuable to the other person and correctly identifies what will bring joy to their heart. I created your heart, Rachael. Your frame was not hidden from me when it was made in the secret place, when you were woven together in the depths of the earth. I saw your unformed body and all the days I had ordained for you were written in my book before even one of them came to be.  You are my prized possession and I know EXACTLY what will bring you joy. Will you let me bring you perfect gifts? Will you wait for me to unveil them in my perfect timing?

Fleetwood Mac is right, “You Can Go Your Own Way,” but why would I want to? I’ve tried it and ended up in places far from good and perfect. So teach me, Lord, to wait and to see that I am fully satisfied as I remain faithfully by your side.

Psalm 139

¹³ For you created my inmost being;
    you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
¹⁴ I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
    your works are wonderful,
    I know that full well.
¹⁵ My frame was not hidden from you
    when I was made in the secret place,
    when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
¹⁶ Your eyes saw my unformed body;
    all the days ordained for me were written in your book
    before one of them came to be

Unless the Lord Build This House

I am enamored with architecture and the process of construction. Whether new construction or an update to a home, these can be exciting thoughts born from dreams of perfection; architecture styles, functional layouts, and colors palettes. As I stand on the crest of one hill and look to the summit of this potentially completed aspiration, the fulfillment of these mental abstractions, I am full of joy and hope for the embodiment of this future.

Cue the descent of the progression of time (and perhaps some dramatic music? I’m pretty sure this is when “they” insert the transitional dramatic music, whomever “they” are). In order to move from this current location in the direction of this vision, I must begin the trek through challenging realities in the direction of the distant horizon with only the mental image of the vista to guide me. In all honesty, this is the part I think I could do without, yet somehow it has never once worked out that way for me. EVERY time I approach this leg of the journey I remain hopeful that one day it could be possible? Just this once? Maybe? Please?! Pass Go? Collect $200?? A vision realized without the laborious efforts? Ruby red slippers? Click some heels? Yes?

But this is not to be reality (at least not mine). And I ponder, are we able to build muscular strength without any resistance? To create music without keen repetition? To grow in knowledge without study? To know the delectable heat of a fire without any prior friction?

And so it is with our spiritual realities. Psalm 127:1-2 tells us this:

Unless the Lord builds the house,
    those who build it labor in vain.
Unless the Lord watches over the city,
    the watchman stays awake in vain.
² It is in vain that you rise up early
    and go late to rest,
eating the bread of anxious toil;
    for he gives to his beloved sleep.

Did you notice the opening, repeating phrase “Unless the Lord?” God is so good… He just knows that sometimes I’m slow and he’d better go ahead and say things twice so I’ll catch it. Or thrice. Or… well, you get the point. I can run, or walk, or… ok, set my mind on (what? You don’t know me. I COULD run) after many things, but apart from HIS purposes for me, my great dreams and aspirations are only nebulous fluff. And as I’m aging I’m finding that I have less energy and a keen awareness of just how few hours are realistically in a 24 hour day. So I want to spend my time doing the things that will bring me satisfaction, the things he has hand picked for my life, nothing else. You know, the exact opposite of the word “vain,” which is also repeated up there in those verses.

And so God allows the resistances to show up as we descend into the valleys not to torture us, but to make us stronger, increasingly keen, even more mature and wise if we will be willing students. The beauty of this process is that I’m not called to do "nothing;" I am still called to build the house. Still called to watch over my city. But I am also called to rest, to only do what he has purposed for me to do in this season in this place, no more, and no less. HE then is ultimately doing the work of perfecting all these things. I need only harness myself to his strength. I’m learning that an indicator that I’m not harnessed to him is true exhaustion. Not that kind that is resolved with a hot bath, a good meal, and a good night’s rest. The kind that lasts for weeks or months. The kind that is full of feelings of despair over the monotony of life. Of “eating the bread of anxious toil.” These are symptoms of not being in the right harness, of pulling with only my own strength. Do you have any of these? Life suckers instead of life givers? Throw them off!

Friends, only press into the harness he has selected for you. If it is not your custom fit, it will rub you raw and leave horrible blisters, perhaps even scars, if you continue in it. But he tells us that his yoke is easy. His burden is light. As we work alongside of him, we are filled with purpose and strength for the journey. Strength to see the vision fulfilled, the dream realized.

Lord, please protect me today from vainly spinning my wheels (mentally or physically). Help me to be aware of the tasks I’m harnessed to and to remove the ones that aren’t from you. Give me clear direction in these things so that my energies are spent only for your purposes. Let all that I do be done in love, perfectly established by you. Thank you for the sleep of the beloved.

Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”   Matthew 11:28-30

Watch, stand fast in the faith, be brave, be strong. Let all that you do be done with love.   1 Corinthians 16:13-14

And let the beauty of the Lord our God be upon us,
And establish the work of our hands for us;
Yes, establish the work of our hands.  Psalm 90:17